I So Tired Let Me Rest
by kiryu takumi
Summary: I only want die soo let me please.I will not bother you ever.Just let me rest.


Izaya POV

 _I hate my life.Why cannot I just die.I tired.Soo tired._ An inch before I stab my swichblade on my heart,I saw my sisters's happy face before it fade.My will to end my life just fade.Even they(my sisters) hate me,as their brother,I love they deeply.Even they words sometimes hurt me.I love them."Wh-why cannot I just die.I don't want anything.I only just want die,my _death_ ,why you always stop me.please. _please just let me die.I will not bother you all."_ _HUAAA.Hiks.hiks.hiks._ I always put facade an arrogant,strong facade.But behind it only a lost child.The one who can saw behind my facade was my late parent.They the only one know my real self.After they die,I the only one who carry the burden.I take a few side job but it cant pay all of our need.I greatful at shiki-san for give me a job as informant but my sisters dont know how heavy the burden that I carry.I need to raised them all alone.

I slid up from the wall at my room and change my clothes and wqsh my face.I need to go to Shizuo.I need his help to raised my sisters after I gonna.I will give all of my property to Shizuo and my sisters.I walk out from my house no _,not my house but my apartment_ to ikebukuro.To find the only my hope to raised my sisters because shinra has celty and I cant burden him more.

After a few minutes,I arrived to Ikebukuro.I dont even feel it.I need to find Shizuo because I cant bear it anymore. _I-ZAAA-YAAA._ From far I can heard Shizuo voice.I only can smile a little.Then I saw vending machine throw toward me.I only take a step aside before it hit me."Izaya dont I always tell you dont take a step to Ikebukuro"His voice take me from my thought.I grip his wrist and pull his with me.I run quickly from people view.Shizuo stumbled? behind him.

After I arrived on one of building,I slow down my step and a take off my grip from his wrist."Flea?"his tone of voice full of suprise and question in its.I feel my tear slid down from my eye.I flinch when his hands touch my shoulder.He turn my body to face him and suprise when saw my teary face." _Izaya,_ what wrong.Please let me know" the unfamiliar tone suprised him but let it slip away."ne,Shizuo can you do me a favor?"I can saw his shoulder flinch when I say his name.

Shizuo POV

 _why flea's face seem sad like he will end his life.What happen to him.Why I feel like my chest be cruch._ " _Izaya,_ what wrong.Please let me know"I suprise at my careness tone."ne,Shizuo can you do me a favor?"I flinch when he call me by my name not shizu-chan."What do you mean.Izaya,you dont do any crazy idea,are you?"I saw he flinch.I held his chin softly and stare at his _beautiful_ red eye. _wait just I say his eye beautiful but if I look at it carefully,its truely beautiful._ His eyes fill with the tear like so beautiful its like a ruby gems.

Izaya POV

I flinch when he asks if I will do a crazy idea.I cant help but stare at his hazel eyes."Can you take care my sisters if I didnt have at this world"His eye going narrow at my sentences."What do you mean"he suddenly held both of my hand in his.I bit my lip and turn my head from his sight.I cant look forward to his eye.I scary if he can see the true be behind my near broke facade.My true face,my weakness state that even shinra donno.

"Just please take care off them,I...sorry but please for once of my life I beg to someone.Sayonara and gomenasai."I cant take it anymore.I dont care if he call me flea,or what.For once in my life please just let me be myself even for short time.Let me be myself because I tired with all of it.I leave Shizuo behind.I feel so tired of loneliss,hatefull glare,negatives comments that I got. _Tired of loveless life from my late parents._ I going to my parent house on the hill out of people view the only only one that I keep for myself to keep in my memory."I sorry mairu,kururi"I pull on my hood and run in the wave of human.I will not take a second glare because I know I will regret it.

Shizuo POV

I feel fear warped my feeling after I saw Izaya leave me behind after say thank and sorry.It like he will go for a long time and will not come back.I want to catch him but my body dont react to my mind like its glued to the floor, _like someone else control it._ From top of the building,I saw Izaya run i the wave of human,I lose his sight.My instint told to follow it or regret after all.But my body didnt react to it.

 _Izaya what are you think.I hope it not something bad._

After I saw Izaya figure fade in wave of human I began walk to my home.Even in my walk to home,I cant stop think about him.

Izaya POV

I arrived at my parent house.This place still have the warm feeling of family that I miss.I take a frame photo,it has a photo of a happy family.It was my family before both of my parent pass away.My mother has a brown shoulder lenght hair that tied in high ponytail.She has gold eye colour,she so beautiful woman has I even saw.On her side was my father,his face like me except I was feminim.He has black like night sky hair and ruby eye like me.His narrow eye can send shiver to anyone but a warm feeling to his family.In front of them was a little boy that has happy grin,it was my past self.I so happy at back there unlike now.

 _Mom,dad I so sorry but I can take it anymore.No one has love me l,even my own sisters.Please let me rest from this pain.Let me sleep in eternty endless sleep._ I hug the frame photo for the last time before I take my own life.Then a warm feeling warped around me like my parent hug.A voice talk in soft tune like a mother and a steel voice but has a caring voice talk to me that they will always has beside me.I know that was my parent voice.Im very happy because can heard their voice for last time and heard that they will always on my side.I smile genuine. _Arigatou okaasan,otousan I love both of you,always._

First time in my life after my parent pass away,I feel so calm.It fill good to be myself even for short time.Without fill burden in my heart,I take my knife and stuck it on my heart.I smile genuine because I know that my sisters will take care by Shizuo.They will not worry about the money because I give all of mine to their acount bank and Shizuo's.

Somewhere else

"mairu...lost...iza-nii(mairu,I feeling like we lost iza-nii forever)"both of their eyes fill of tear.They feel scary but donno,scary to what."I donno kururi-nee."Mairu feel bad but she donno to what.

 _CRASH_ _what this feeling.Fle..no Izaya I hope you alright._ Even after arrived to his home.Shizuo feel a bad thought about Izaya.

At Shinra house

 _Izaya I hope you happy.Sorry for be a bad friend,the only one your friend._ Shinra feel like he will no ever saw Izaya.Like he know that Izaya will go from this world.

Then all of them hear Izaya voice" _mairu,kururi,Shizuo,Shinra Im very sorry to you.Please delete all of your mind of me.Forget that you have a brother,friend,enemy like me.Let me be forgetten person.For last time sorry."_ All of them suddenly cry because they will not ever saw Izaya their brother,friend,enemy turn love intrest.

At the house,Izaya draw a genuine smile,a smile that suit for his beautiful face for last time.His face so calm and beautiful ever a blood that come from his mouth cannt tainted it.


End file.
